IELTS Writing Task 2 | How to prevent illness and disease?

Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

How to answer this essay?

Introduction:
Paraphrase the overall essay main topic.
Write a clear opinion.
1st Body Paragraph
Write a topic sentence with a clear main idea.
Explain your main idea.
Develop it with specific or hypothetical examples.
2nd Body Paragraph
Write a new topic sentence with a new main idea.
Explain your new main idea.
Include specific details and examples.
Add as much information as you can and make sure it links logically.
Conclusion:
Summarise your main ideas.
Include a final thought.

Model Answer | Marked as Band 8

Cohesive connecting words that improve coherence in writing . Useful less common words that boost fluency in writing .

Certain concerned parties today contend that the optimal means of improving public health is to confront pressing environmental and housing problems. In my opinion, although these solutions would be helpful, it is more important to prioritize proper nutrition.
On the one hand, there are current issues concerning housing and the environment that impact health. Many illnesses and conditions are either directly or indirectly related to one’s environment. For instance, a person who lives in an overcrowded metropolis such as Hanoi or Beijing must deal on a daily basis with the immediate dangers of air pollution, potential drinking water contamination, car accidents, and elevated crimes rates. If there were fewer individuals in these cities and the air was cleaner because there were more open, green areas, then it is probable that hospitals would be able to focus more on a reduced number of patients.
On the other hand, there are various causes for diseases and the primary one is poor nutrition. In the last several decades, lifespans globally have increased exponentially, largely as a result of advances in medical science and greater understanding of the human body. A standout example of this would be the plant-based diets that are widely recommended by most nutritionists. A person who consumes little meat, reduces their carbohydrate intake, and mostly does not eat sugar will drastically lower the risk of conditions ranging from diabetes and heart disease to Alzheimer’s and cancer. National health authorities can widely and effectively address these health problems by legislating the levels of unhealthy ingredients in food products.
In conclusion, those in favor of combatting housing and environmental problems make legitimate arguments though improving the average citizen’s diet is in fact the best guarantee of good health. Naturally, governments should pursue a balanced policy.

293 words

Vocabulary and Useful Expression

Certain concerned parties today contend: some people now argue
optimal means of improving public health: best ways of keeping people healthy
confront pressing environmental and housing problems: deal with modern problems related to the environment and where people live
solutions: remedies
prioritize proper nutrition: care more about eating right
On the one hand: firstly
current issues concerning: new problems having to do with
illnesses: sicknesses
either directly or indirectly related to one’s environment: right from or somehow from what’s around you
overcrowded metropolis: big cities
deal on a daily basis with the immediate dangers of air pollution: handle every day with risks from unhealthy air
potential drinking water contamination: possibly drinking bad water
elevated crimes rates: more criminal offenses
more open, green areas: public spaces and parks
then it is probable that: therefore there is a good chance that
focus more on a reduced number of patients: concentrate more on fewer sick people
On the other hand: however
various causes for: different reasons for
primary one: main one
poor nutrition: unhealthy
In the last several decades: over 20 to 30 years
lifespans: how long people live
increased exponentially: went up a lot
largely as a result of advances in: medical science: mostly because of better medicine
greater understanding of the human body: better conception of human health
A standout example of this would be: the best instance of this is
plant-based diets: mostly just eating vegetables
widely recommended by most nutritionists: the advice of most doctors
consumes little meat: not eating too many animals
reduces their carbohydrate intake: not having so many grains and breads
mostly does not eat sugar will drastically lower the risk of conditions ranging from diabetes and heart disease to Alzheimer’s and cancer: not eating sweet foods makes it less likely you will get diabetes or have a heart attack or suffer from dementia or get cancer
National health authorities can widely and effectively address: governments can unilaterally deal with
legislating: putting into law
levels: how high it is
unhealthy ingredients in food products: fats, sugar, carbs
those in favor of combatting housing and environmental problems make legitimate arguments: people who support working against these problems make good points
in fact the best guarantee of good health: the optimal way to make sure you are healthy
Naturally: of course
pursue a balanced policy: follow a more moderate path

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